Blow by Blow Report of the Pink Panther

Everyone loves Peter Sellars as much as nearly everyone hates alex Ferguson.
16.50

We are told a precious stone has a flaw. If you look deep inside it you will see a pink panther, leaping. Cue music. Music which is both exciting and nostalgic. Watch those famous credits of everyones favourite homopink wild cat roll. Meanwhile on the BBC they are still showing the darts... "LETS PLAY DARTS!!" or rather let's not.

16.55
the music carries on but the animation ends. there is a cat burglar- he escapes with the help of dynamite!

1657
a student is on the run from the police. As I type this the action shifts form Rome To Paris.

so far this is your bogstandard tale of intrigue and crime and sophistication. a women changes outfits in an old style elevator. Her trick fools the police.

cue French national anthem and cue Sellars. He does something clumbsy. the women is the clue to the crime. they must find her.

Back To Italy.

1700

The women is skiing in the alps. she cherishes a small dog.

I can't be arsed to do this all the way through the film.

I think I might just do it until Cato turns up.

REBELS DEMANDS PRINCESS RETURNS PRECIOUS GEM.

shenanigans in swank hotel.

My girlfriend is demanding I stop fucking about on the internet and make her a cup of tea. she has a poorly stomach.

the princess is a wonderful skiier and someone has stolen her dog! The plot thickens

Sellars tells us his name is Clousseau. He romps in a cupboard with a female police inspector with a mink coat. He clumbsily leaves the hotel room.

the female police inspector is having it off with someone else.

1710

the supposed master criminal is meeting the princess for dinner.

My girlfriend says she has a fever. she really, really, wants her tea.

sellars/clousseau does something clumbsy.


Mood music- get comfy by the fire. Pretend to have a limp.

where is CATO?!

"I enjoy reality too, but then again, I don't smoke"

the guests in fur coats are here.

HERE FOLLOWS A BRIEF INTERLUDE WHILE I MAKE THE TEA

1714