Monday, 29 December 2008

Feliz Navidad

our somewhat random Christmas observations

Johnny Evans has been playing. This presumably means, he wasn't allegedly raping anyone at this year's Man U Christmas party.

Stevie Gerrard has been arrested, after allegedly bar brawling. He claims it was a fancy dress party and he was going as Joey Barton.

Monday, 22 December 2008

Madrid replace Diarra

Real Madrid have replaced holding midfielder Mahmoud Diarra with holding midfielder Diarra. Diarra has been struggling this season so his replacement of Diarra is seen as a natural choice. Real Madrid however deny that replacing Diarra with Diarra is a like for like measure. Diarra himself says "I do not want to be known as Diarra number 1 or Diarra number 2. Just call me Lass."

The two Diarra's situation has been a source of confusion for some time.

Saturday, 20 December 2008

Excerpt From A US History Student's Essay on Womens' Liberation

"Women gained more freedoms as better household products allowed them to have more free time".

(Excerpted from Spangly Princess blog)

Paul Ince and Roy Keane are wincing.

Blackburn win 3-0.
Sunderland win 4-1.

That must be a bit like watching your sexy but frigid ex enjoying a rebound gang-bang.

Thursday, 18 December 2008

Premiership Panto

Poor Blackburn wants to reach the Promised Golden Land of European Football, but is having no luck getting there. With the hapless assistance of The Guvnor he's been involved in some scrapes but now the joke has gone too far and he's in the evil clutches of the Spectre Of Relegation (It's behind you!). Who Can save Blackburn? None other than reliable hero Shrek! Will he win the day (Oh yes he will) but will Blackburn reach European Football (Oh no they won't), not without the help of a Hairy Godmother, or a handsome Saudi Prince or two.

Welcome back Sam Allardyce.

PS- Whatever happened to Stuart Ripley?

Thursday, 11 December 2008

Possibly Inadvertent Gay Slur Part 1234 (2)

"Nice lad Sol Campell. Get's a bad press sometimes. He's solid at the back. He's not a screamer mind. He just tries to get on with lads in the dressing room and just let what he does on the pitch do the talking. He's not a screamer though."

Possibly Inadvertent Gay Slur Part 1234

"Perhaps Anelka and Drogba will finish off together later on tonight"


Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Peter Reid was a dire manager

a man whose reputation as a player, he was a very good player to his credit, carried him only so far. As his reputation faded it was matched only by his inarticulacy. (actually, is that a proper word, or am I being remarkably inarticulate by supposing that 'inarticulacy' is a word, surely phrasing it differently would be wiser- WAS MATCHED ONLY BY BEING AWESOMELY INARTICULATE. Just as well I am not doing a stint on Football Focus otherwise I would look a right gibbering idiot.

Anyway, Peter Reid is widely thought of as a crap manager.

Then there was Mick Mcarthy. He, like Reid, managed Sunderland. He, unlike Reid was not a great player. And Roy Keane had told him so to. 'you were a crap player and you're a crap manager', or words to that effect splattered with more excessive expletives. Which brings me to Keane. Who was an excellent player, like Reid, and a bad manager, like both Reid and Mcarthy, and had a beard more ridiculous than either of them. Actually the beard was not all that bad, but it was silly. Beards can only be worn gracefully by writers and left-wingers. Preferably both. Anyone else- from Richard Branson to Noel Edmonds, looks like a cock in a beard. I think Keane realised this, only he was too stressed, and too depressed, to shave it off. Either that or he decided Gerry Adams was some kind of fashion icon.

Gerry Adams of course can carry a beard- as he is a leftwinger. Oh, by the way, by left winger I mean those who, historically would have stood to the left Louis XVI in court, not those who grace the left of the football pitch and with pace and a touch of maverick genius get into good attacking positions. I've no idea if Gerry Adams, or che Guervara, or, Trotsky, were any good on the football pitch.

Perhaps only people who are pretty crap at sport get into politics. But then how would that explain the most awful of breeds- ex sportsmen, or women, who get into politics. David Icke is the only sportsmen who got into politics that I have any time for. And that is because he suffers (or suffered) from an attractive form of dreadful self-delusion. Like he internalised the plot of THEY LIVE...

Anyway, I digress. Roy Keane has gone. His managerial record is worse than both Reid's and Mcarthy's. But I reckon it is only a matter of time before someone gives him another chance to prove- in such high jest -dulce est playerium ab shit managerium. Or something.

Lovely to see you all by the way.

Monday, 8 December 2008

This blog will be operating again sometime

Expect a Pre-christmas rush a post Christmas sales.