November Football Digest

OK- a month is a long time in football. Here is the footballsinotmygod football overdose 5 minute month. Written in five minutes! Might take you less time to read...

In case you missed it the european qualifiers have been on. And while Wales and Ireland battled for respectability and talked more about the future of the game in these countries the other home nations all came close to the panacea of qualification, and, probably for the first time ever, all of them missed out. Even England. It was a roller coaster month, as it always is with England. First England were IN if they beat Russia. Then after losing they were OUT unless Israel beat Russia. Despite the vaguely anti-semetic conspiracy theories that tried to suggest differently, that revolved around the fact roman abramovic is rich and jewish, england were IN the competition once more after Israel duly did beat Russia when Steve Mclaren was in the toilet. Now England only needed to beat Croatia but couldn't on behalf of some of the most inept tactical decisions ever made by an England manager so England are OUT. IN-OUT-IN-OUT and they do the hokeycokey and they turn around. The national soul searching began and while some thought that foreigners were dangerous everyone else thought that the kids need more coaching. The nation wonders who will be the next coach. Martin O Neill is declared the early front runner.

Scotland meanwhile, after beating France TWICE in their campaign somehow contrived to lose their last two games, against Italy, and, most frustratingly, Georgia. Northern Ireland would have sprung the upset of upsets but lost to Spain.

Meanwhile in the champions' league- Man U Chelsea, and Arsenal looked good. Liverpool looked rubbish and out until they knocked in a record 8 goals against Besiktas. In the UEFA also Rans' Competition Everton and Spurs enjoyed themselves and Bolton somehow drew against Bayern Munich.

In the premiership, well, nothing to unexpected much except Man City are somehow still in the top 4. And Bolton celebrate their first win under Megson- a win at Man U. Derby lost, and lost badly, continually, and eventually sack their manager.

Also out is Steve Mclaren, clearly, and Wigan sign Steve Bruce as coach from Birmingham, who upset Scotland and sign Mcleish.

Last I heard Sam Hamman and Peter Ridsdale had somehow led cardiff to the brink of administration, and, proving that evil does exist, Harry Redknapp, coach of Portsmouth and potentially of the rudderless England, is arrested on charges of corruption. And that is that. What have I missed?