Arsenal in the San Siro, Celtic in the Nou Camp, and again I consider my mentality towards such games, some would say occasions, as akin to schizophrenia. You see, while I admire Man Utd I hate them at the same time. I hate the way they have dominated throughout the 90s leaving only room for a handful of other UK clubs to win anything. I hate that arse of a faced manager forever chewing gum on the touchline. I hate Ronaldo's swagger, Roonie's withering contempt and latent aggression, and I hate Wes Brown for no reason in particular other than I do not like his name. Yet, having said all that, Man Utd are responsible for some of the most exciting footballing nights in Europe in recent memory. When it comes to Europe its OK to like Man Utd a little bit, and I am secretly glad if they win. Yet, even as I type this, I know I will chortle if they lose. The expression of disbelieving disappointment on Ronaldo's face will be a moment to cherish. Yet, as local vs national tribal loyalties fight against one another for dominance I think to myself, it would be a shame if such an attractive footballing team like Man Utd went out. My football supporting mind is really just a mass of manipulable, and conflicting, emotions. I will cheer (a bit) if they lose, and cheer (a bit) if they win, at the same time. Basically football makes me happy whatever. It is quite unhealthy. Almost something Orwellian. Doublekthink as a psychological tool in the armory of the modern day football fan.
To a certain extent the same is true in the Premiership. Take Bolton playing Liverpool over the weekend for example. Bolton annoy me intensely. I have no connection with the region. I dislike the coach, they play a non to appealing style of football. As they were playing Liverpool, who hover menacingly and unfamiliarly beneath Everton however, I found myself routing for them. Just on a temporary basis. For 90 minutes no more. Even then though I was swept up in the euphoria when Liverpool one the chmpoin's league a season or so back. It wasso damn exciting.
In this way football fans are most of them pragmatists. Able to see the merit in the temporary alliance, or a convenience fuck. The enemy of my enemy is my friend etc. This I guess is what categorizes tribal politics. Like when native Americans fought alongside the english in the US war of independence. Except that was all about survival. Football is not really about anything really. We love it.
Post Cigarette edit: I was watching that Last Man Standing tribe hero rubbish the other night. There were these tribes in the Amazon who had wrestling competitions instead of going to war with each other. I thought to myself well that is like football, only they have formalised the deal and don't actually go to war anymore. Admittedly the structure of the tribe was much less complex than what we are used to in the West but, well, at least they weren't butchering each other for oil. Enough of this though, I digress... and I have work to do.
Showing posts with label Bolton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bolton. Show all posts
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
Monday, 21 January 2008
Today's first gag is brought to you courtesy of Frankie Howard
after another customary error from Wigan's Bramble at the weekend gifted Everton their opener. "Ooo Titus, you silly boy. You are a clutz Tightarse." Or words to that effect.
The win lifts Everton into the supposedly elite top four, and puts all the pressure on Merseyside rivals Liverpool who have so far enjoyed a dismal league campaign, by their lofty standards. The force may be with Everton, who have an unsettling unbeaten run in the league. The stats are with Liverpool however, who have two games in hand. One of which against Aston Villa- and no doubt Martin O Neill's men will use this next encounter against one of Europe's best as a yardstick of both their progress and potential. This is the problem with being a good big club like Liverpool (as opposed to a rubbish big club like Newcastle). Other teams really want to beat you. The measure of a top team therefore, rather than just a very good team, or even a lucky and good team, is to finish in the top 4 in consecutive seasons, at least.
Meanwhile Kevin Keegan's Newcastle got off to a start with what will hopefully prove an atypical performance. A 0-0 against a Bolton team who seem to have internalised the concept of quagmire and reproduce it in the form of tactics on the football pitch.
Fulham continue to plummet Championshipwoods with an air of gritty denial. It would be a shame to see them relegated although in my opinion they ain't been the same team since they lost Saha and Boa Morte. I rarely watch Fulham so could be wrong though. I am also somewhat unsure about Ray Hodgson. I doubt not his experience but his class- I know he did great things and is respected across Scandinavia- but then so are Abba.
And finally a question. There is nearly always a team that looks safe at this part of the season but then implodes and falls into the bottom three to fight in the spring survival dogfight. Who will be this year's surprise relegation package then?
Bolton? too obvious. Spurs- not under Ramos and Poyet (they are missing Poyet at Leeds I think), M'brough- could be... Newcastle....
Having said all that it is always a team no-one expects- at all- West Ham then. Although that is crazy talk.
The win lifts Everton into the supposedly elite top four, and puts all the pressure on Merseyside rivals Liverpool who have so far enjoyed a dismal league campaign, by their lofty standards. The force may be with Everton, who have an unsettling unbeaten run in the league. The stats are with Liverpool however, who have two games in hand. One of which against Aston Villa- and no doubt Martin O Neill's men will use this next encounter against one of Europe's best as a yardstick of both their progress and potential. This is the problem with being a good big club like Liverpool (as opposed to a rubbish big club like Newcastle). Other teams really want to beat you. The measure of a top team therefore, rather than just a very good team, or even a lucky and good team, is to finish in the top 4 in consecutive seasons, at least.
Meanwhile Kevin Keegan's Newcastle got off to a start with what will hopefully prove an atypical performance. A 0-0 against a Bolton team who seem to have internalised the concept of quagmire and reproduce it in the form of tactics on the football pitch.
Fulham continue to plummet Championshipwoods with an air of gritty denial. It would be a shame to see them relegated although in my opinion they ain't been the same team since they lost Saha and Boa Morte. I rarely watch Fulham so could be wrong though. I am also somewhat unsure about Ray Hodgson. I doubt not his experience but his class- I know he did great things and is respected across Scandinavia- but then so are Abba.
And finally a question. There is nearly always a team that looks safe at this part of the season but then implodes and falls into the bottom three to fight in the spring survival dogfight. Who will be this year's surprise relegation package then?
Bolton? too obvious. Spurs- not under Ramos and Poyet (they are missing Poyet at Leeds I think), M'brough- could be... Newcastle....
Having said all that it is always a team no-one expects- at all- West Ham then. Although that is crazy talk.
Thursday, 6 December 2007
Everton won
A scrappy goal from Cahill (again) saw off the russian champions Zenit St Petersburg. Elsewhere in the Also Ran's Cup Carpathia Dynjastic Molotov drew 0-0 with Thesalonika Majorettes somewhere in Eastern Europe.
Well done Everton, a long cup run is long overdue.
Meanwhile, in the premiership Newcastle staved of the mispalced sacking of Sam Allardyce with a 1-1 draw with Arsenal. Perhaps he will eventually see off the naysayers and prove that there is life away from Bolton for his formula of 'don't give an inch, don't do nothing complicated' style football. The result induced a howl of machiavelian rage from Alan Shearer as he drunk until late in the bar that bears his own name.
Well done Everton, a long cup run is long overdue.
Meanwhile, in the premiership Newcastle staved of the mispalced sacking of Sam Allardyce with a 1-1 draw with Arsenal. Perhaps he will eventually see off the naysayers and prove that there is life away from Bolton for his formula of 'don't give an inch, don't do nothing complicated' style football. The result induced a howl of machiavelian rage from Alan Shearer as he drunk until late in the bar that bears his own name.
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Freddie Shepherd is poised
to take over another football club, so my sources tell me. Shepherd was the manager of the oft professed "big club" Newcastle Utd, and after selling his megasized portion of the team for 37,000,000 english sterlings he is now on the look out for another club to buy. As Shepherd himself freely admits he hates "soft southern twats that talk posh like and sound like a bunch of benders" and will therefore be zoning his sights in on another club to the north of Nottingham. Shepherd himself has never ventured south. It seems that not only do Southerners talk funny, "but don't put gravy on their chips" either. "I can't stand it down there." added Shepherd. "Its too hot." Leeds, Bolton, and Derby therefore, are all on Shepherd's hit list. As most the people that live around there pronounce bath 'baath' instead of 'barth'.
If I were a Leeds fan Shepherd's interest would bother me. Shepherd is something of a tabloid favourite, and not just because he fills the fat and northern stereotype role. Also because of his penchant for brothels and brashness. By brash I mean rude. Tact has never been his strong point. "I wanted to fire him while he could still remember my name" he famously may as well have said after sacking an ageing, though still iconic, Bobby Robson in 2004. "But I don't want to be remembered as the guy that shot Bambi." Being controversial does not exclude you from being an able chairman however. And in fairness Shepherd did make money for Newcastle, in excess of 8,000,000 english sterlings during his tenure, albeit that this is 4.5 times less profit than his predecessor Hall. What makes him unqualified to take over a club like Leeds however is that he has no experience running things on a tight budget. Splashing out an average of 10,000,000 english sterlings pounds a season on new players. And as chairman of the geordie cash cow he has always been able to spend his club further from trouble when needs be. Attracting big names like Shearer, Owen, and, well, um, Hugo Viana. With Leeds still shuddering at the Ridsdale effect Shepherd is the last thing they need. Without the gate receipts of one of the world's most ardently supported clubs to fall back on god knows what Shepherd would be capable of. Apart from isolating his fan base, something he has done with startling regularity at Newcastle. Either way, expect him to buy Bolton cheap if they go down this season.
If I were a Leeds fan Shepherd's interest would bother me. Shepherd is something of a tabloid favourite, and not just because he fills the fat and northern stereotype role. Also because of his penchant for brothels and brashness. By brash I mean rude. Tact has never been his strong point. "I wanted to fire him while he could still remember my name" he famously may as well have said after sacking an ageing, though still iconic, Bobby Robson in 2004. "But I don't want to be remembered as the guy that shot Bambi." Being controversial does not exclude you from being an able chairman however. And in fairness Shepherd did make money for Newcastle, in excess of 8,000,000 english sterlings during his tenure, albeit that this is 4.5 times less profit than his predecessor Hall. What makes him unqualified to take over a club like Leeds however is that he has no experience running things on a tight budget. Splashing out an average of 10,000,000 english sterlings pounds a season on new players. And as chairman of the geordie cash cow he has always been able to spend his club further from trouble when needs be. Attracting big names like Shearer, Owen, and, well, um, Hugo Viana. With Leeds still shuddering at the Ridsdale effect Shepherd is the last thing they need. Without the gate receipts of one of the world's most ardently supported clubs to fall back on god knows what Shepherd would be capable of. Apart from isolating his fan base, something he has done with startling regularity at Newcastle. Either way, expect him to buy Bolton cheap if they go down this season.
Friday, 9 November 2007
Guess the headlines game!
OK- I haven't read the sports' headlines today. I'm guessing though that somewhere you will have something along the lines of Toffees Win Nuremberg Trial. *google searches*.... ah- here we go http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/everton-fc/everton-fc-match-reports/2007/11/09/blues-pass-nurnberg-euro-trialeuro-trial-64375-20083421/ "BLUES WIN NUREMBURG EUROTRAIL EURO TRIAL.
I get 1 point.
To the next round...
My guess for Spurs: Winning in the Holy Juande Land
And Google says: 1474: Accompanying Don Juan de Gusman, Pêro returns to Portugal. .... sees the conquest of Muslim Africa as a means of winning back the Holy Land. ...
Nothing for me there then, so far just the 1 point.
Last go.
My guess for Bolton: Bolt From the Brink
And google says: Bolt on superlens gives microscope nanoscale vision tech 22
As someone who has followed them with morbid fascination this season I was pleased to see Bolton pull out a draw against Bayern Munich. It seems Gary Megson has developed a habit of drawing, which, to put in context, is better than developing a habit of losing, but not as good as developing a habit of winning. And how about that for a bit of original sports' analysis!
At least though I can predict 1 in 3 headlines correctly. That is better than Nostradamus.
I get 1 point.
To the next round...
My guess for Spurs: Winning in the Holy Juande Land
And Google says: 1474: Accompanying Don Juan de Gusman, Pêro returns to Portugal. .... sees the conquest of Muslim Africa as a means of winning back the Holy Land. ...
Nothing for me there then, so far just the 1 point.
Last go.
My guess for Bolton: Bolt From the Brink
And google says: Bolt on superlens gives microscope nanoscale vision tech 22
As someone who has followed them with morbid fascination this season I was pleased to see Bolton pull out a draw against Bayern Munich. It seems Gary Megson has developed a habit of drawing, which, to put in context, is better than developing a habit of losing, but not as good as developing a habit of winning. And how about that for a bit of original sports' analysis!
At least though I can predict 1 in 3 headlines correctly. That is better than Nostradamus.
Monday, 29 October 2007
the Ipswich phenonema
One minute you're singing "we are the tractor boys", or something inane like that, and pulling one over Milan in the UEFA cup, then before you know it you are staring the championship playoffs right in the face. Bolton could well prove to be this year's Ipswich.
There are two crucial differences of course. The first taking the sullen, sulky, profile of Nicholas Anelka. Ipswich were not blessed with an embarresment of riches up front. But if Anelka turns out and plays week in week out, and "does what everybody knows he can do" then things might not appear so bleak after all.
On the other hand the second difference is the coach. Ipswich were guided by the reliable, occaisonally brilliant, George Burley, Bolton are lumped with Gary Megson. Megson's problem is not that he's a "ginger headed twat". That is just gingerist prejudice. It is more that, statistically, he only wins roughly 2 out of every 3 games. Reduce that by half for the premiership. That makes Bolton relegation fodder, or thereabouts, after the start they have had to the season. Given this record it seems that lots of Bolton's hopes rest with Nicolas Anelka this season.
The other big difference between the two teams, that will have no bearing on where they finish this season, is that Ipswich in their day attracted lots of neutral support. They are rural, and little, and nice, and play 'good' football. They even won the fair play league. Only Norwich saw fit to hate them. None of these could be accurately levelled at Bolton.
Ugh! while typing this just imagined Delia Smith and Sam Allardyce in the sack. I need to go and bleach my brain now.
There are two crucial differences of course. The first taking the sullen, sulky, profile of Nicholas Anelka. Ipswich were not blessed with an embarresment of riches up front. But if Anelka turns out and plays week in week out, and "does what everybody knows he can do" then things might not appear so bleak after all.
On the other hand the second difference is the coach. Ipswich were guided by the reliable, occaisonally brilliant, George Burley, Bolton are lumped with Gary Megson. Megson's problem is not that he's a "ginger headed twat". That is just gingerist prejudice. It is more that, statistically, he only wins roughly 2 out of every 3 games. Reduce that by half for the premiership. That makes Bolton relegation fodder, or thereabouts, after the start they have had to the season. Given this record it seems that lots of Bolton's hopes rest with Nicolas Anelka this season.
The other big difference between the two teams, that will have no bearing on where they finish this season, is that Ipswich in their day attracted lots of neutral support. They are rural, and little, and nice, and play 'good' football. They even won the fair play league. Only Norwich saw fit to hate them. None of these could be accurately levelled at Bolton.
Ugh! while typing this just imagined Delia Smith and Sam Allardyce in the sack. I need to go and bleach my brain now.
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