Liverpool 'luckier' than other teams: Its Official

The sports science department at Portsmouth Uni have been doing a very interesting study. They have been analysing the refereeing decisions made during premiership games over the last ten years, and made a series of graphs that measure whether the correct decision was made (according to the majority decision of a panel of amateur ref's who support all Premiership teams watching the games without commentary). The aim is to see whether some teams enjoy good or bad luck regards refereeing decisions. Unsurprisingly to anyone who has watched Liverpool recently, and seen the array of dreadful decisions normally in their favour, Liverpool come out as offically the "luckiest" team in the premiership; and by some margin. They were measured as a staggering 11.8% "luckier" than other teams who have competed in the premiership.

Isn't science brilliant?!

This of course puts Benitez' rants into perspective. Rafa doesn't need to moan about poor refereeing decisions as much as other managers- because his side are more often than not at the fortunate end of the poor decisions!

For your interest most the luck is pretty evenly spread among the other teams. With the so called Big 4 on avergage about 3.7% more fortunate than the lesser gods. Within the margin of error. this did however rise to significant 5.2% for hoime fixtures. Read the results as you will.

Relegated teams were about 0.5% unluckier than those that survied the season, which goes to prove that the fickle lady luck does have a big say on our fortunes after all.

and who were unluckiest teams- both Sheffield United and Ipswich Town came off badly- 4% worse off than their rivals (on average) the seasons they were relegated.

Whether the results of this study will be taken at all seriously by the sport's governing bodies remains to be seen.

They may turn into a gang rapists collective

after a couple of shandies at the Christmas bash. They might attack Chelsea pensioners with clubs after losing in West London. In fact, Alex Ferguson may well have crucified impertinent young journo's upside down for asking obvious, if upsetting, questions, but what the hell- didn't they play well last night. While menacing going forward, especially the relentless porteño Carlos Tevez, the Red Devils harried, hurried, and tackled there way all the way to the final last night where they are bound to play Liverpool. I say bound to. Nothing is certain. But the law of impending cliche dictates that one of the Reds will be victorious in Red Square. Having said that, Chelsea, Russia, Abramovic, has a nice ring to it too. Chelsea are Moscow's second team. If, and it is a big if, Chelsea do win tonight expect lots of tittle tattle speculation pieces, as to the corruptibility of Russian officials, in the build up to the final. Stories will focus on Abramovic's Jewish roots, his incredible wealth, and the historical bias of Russian linesman. So whatever the outcome we are certain to have one or two of the following in the coming weeks.

If Liverpool win- a succession of 'red' cliches and talk of the rekindling of the old rivalry between the two old enemies.

If Chelsea win- Is the final fixed, what is the extent of Abramovic's mysterious power? Could he really influence the final?

Which do you prefer?

One last thing: In 96 Fifa released a football console game. It sported an irritating commentary feature that ensured John Motson would spout the same six phrases randomly throughout each game until you either broke your jopypad in rage or selected COMMENTARY:OFF. David Pleat actually came out with one of these phrases last night. In testimony to his unerringly imbecilic ramblings. "good variation, mixing the short and the long." The twat.

It is the EuroAll Star Gala again tonight

Arsenal in the San Siro, Celtic in the Nou Camp, and again I consider my mentality towards such games, some would say occasions, as akin to schizophrenia. You see, while I admire Man Utd I hate them at the same time. I hate the way they have dominated throughout the 90s leaving only room for a handful of other UK clubs to win anything. I hate that arse of a faced manager forever chewing gum on the touchline. I hate Ronaldo's swagger, Roonie's withering contempt and latent aggression, and I hate Wes Brown for no reason in particular other than I do not like his name. Yet, having said all that, Man Utd are responsible for some of the most exciting footballing nights in Europe in recent memory. When it comes to Europe its OK to like Man Utd a little bit, and I am secretly glad if they win. Yet, even as I type this, I know I will chortle if they lose. The expression of disbelieving disappointment on Ronaldo's face will be a moment to cherish. Yet, as local vs national tribal loyalties fight against one another for dominance I think to myself, it would be a shame if such an attractive footballing team like Man Utd went out. My football supporting mind is really just a mass of manipulable, and conflicting, emotions. I will cheer (a bit) if they lose, and cheer (a bit) if they win, at the same time. Basically football makes me happy whatever. It is quite unhealthy. Almost something Orwellian. Doublekthink as a psychological tool in the armory of the modern day football fan.

To a certain extent the same is true in the Premiership. Take Bolton playing Liverpool over the weekend for example. Bolton annoy me intensely. I have no connection with the region. I dislike the coach, they play a non to appealing style of football. As they were playing Liverpool, who hover menacingly and unfamiliarly beneath Everton however, I found myself routing for them. Just on a temporary basis. For 90 minutes no more. Even then though I was swept up in the euphoria when Liverpool one the chmpoin's league a season or so back. It wasso damn exciting.

In this way football fans are most of them pragmatists. Able to see the merit in the temporary alliance, or a convenience fuck. The enemy of my enemy is my friend etc. This I guess is what categorizes tribal politics. Like when native Americans fought alongside the english in the US war of independence. Except that was all about survival. Football is not really about anything really. We love it.

Post Cigarette edit: I was watching that Last Man Standing tribe hero rubbish the other night. There were these tribes in the Amazon who had wrestling competitions instead of going to war with each other. I thought to myself well that is like football, only they have formalised the deal and don't actually go to war anymore. Admittedly the structure of the tribe was much less complex than what we are used to in the West but, well, at least they weren't butchering each other for oil. Enough of this though, I digress... and I have work to do.

Contrasts/opposites/ying and yang

Chelsea and Liverpool. Liverpool are to Chelsea's 0 goals last night what Chelsea's 0 goals are to Liverpool's 8. What?! What is the sound of one hand clapping again?

Forget politics. These results tell us how long a week is in football. On Saturday Liverpool where "in the midsts of at least a mini crisis" and Avram Grant was 'beginning to make Chelsea play again' (as if Chelsea had ever stopped playing!) Now it is all change. Surely Roman Abramovic has had words. "I don't want to see that again Avram. Not 0-0. Never again. Never in Europe. Do we understand each other?" In fact I am sure Roman Abramovic has unusual features in his house/mansion/palace in volcano crater. Features like a pits of sharks and piranhas, trapdoors, and diamond cutting laser beams.

But to speculate in the non-fantastical for a moment. Will Liverpool reach the next round. They have been here before of course, needing to win there last three games to qualify for the knockout stages. They duly won all three of them, and went on to win the tournament. History then, tells us that Liverpool will be fine. Especially with an 8-0 wind in your sails and just two more wins to go. But then history can tell you nearly anything you want it to if you look hard enough at it for long enough.