Johnson: How much is this going to cost?Boris Johnson revelling in the great folding and unfurling of the ceremonial Olympic tablecloth. Ken Livingstone must have been shitting blood as he hissed to himself "it should have been me there!".
Oddly enough Britain chose to transport the Olympic message onwards towards London in the form of The Last (and only) Red Convertible Routemaster bus. A strange red contraption with legendary handling, and a roof that peels back to reveal none other than David Beckham and Jimmy Page on demand, as well as weird plastic models of famous British landmarks. The only thing missing was a miniature Stonehenge and dancing midgets. It predictably arrived late into the Birds Nest stadium, much to the consternation of the awaiting all-singing all-dancing Big Issue vendors with umbrellas,(assembled especially for the occasion by none other than Sebastian Coe) who, in the style of contemporary dance, rushed to enter all at once only to discover the doors had jammed. "Can you move down please". They then prostrated themselves on the walls of the vehicle, and enacted some Bosch like rite as Bejing moshed to the strains of Whole Lotta Love. Surreal does not even begin to cover it. Shite is not sufficient either. 'Best of British' probably has it cornered.
Anyway, as he waved folded, and unfurled, the ceremonial Olympic tablecloth you could see Boris' horrible doll like shark eyes calculating. "How much is this going to cost?", and he forced a false smile, before being lost once again in the magic of the moment. Roll on 2012.
