A week of headines.

BECKHAM WOULD LIKE HIS 100TH CAP
BECKHAM IN SQUAD TO GET 100TH CAP
BECKHAM WOULD REALLY LIKE 100TH CAP
BECKHAM LIKELY TO GET 100TH CAP
BECKHAM DEFINTELY WILL GET 100TH CAP
BECKHAM PLEASED THAT HE WILL GET HIS 100TH CAP
BECKHAM SAYS HE WILL NOT STOP AFTER 100TH CAP
100TH CAP IS GREAT HONOUR SAYS BECKHAM

As you may have gathered England midfielder David Beckham will get his 100th cap tonight against France. He has also said that he is targeting Peter Shilton's record for most England caps, carefully ignoring the fact that Shilton played in goal and only played on so long because being in goal means you don't have to run around much.

Aside from Beckham getting his 100th cap a massive piece of Antarctica melted unexpectedly, over 40 Iraqis died in violence, a Shia rebellion has started in Iraq (not along now until the media start calling them 'Shi'iites' again), Gordon Brown announced actually not insignificant constitutional reform, and, most important of all, England won the cricket.

Fabio Capello still shows no signs at all of having mastered English.

EDIT: and how could I forget, having sat through about 115 reminders in the 10mins that I watched BBC Breakfast today. The Apprentice starts again tonight. Let the weeks of greed, fuckwittery, and shaftery commence- as the nation ponders who, apart from Alan Sugar, they would least like to be stuck in the same room as.

Alan Sugar is most famous of course, as far as football goes, for once owning Spurs, and for his acrimonious partnership with Terry "half a pound of apricots, only ahhh tuppence" Venables.