I have another Mars Bar on offer!

Who can tell me what PSV stands for? With only a passing knowledge of Dutch my best guess errs towards the absurd- Presengangen Skribensbok Vullen. I fear this is wildly incorrect.

Dutch is of course a beautifully silly language, spoken like comedy German. Despite this the Dutch have built one of the most liberal societies on earth. A nation of funny, intelligent, multi-lingual, cool people. With cool sounding names like De Witt and Vint Boomers. Good football teams too. As Spurs learnt last night. I was shocked watching PSV play in the first half, I got bored after that. They played more like a German team, and the only 'dutch style football' came from the two Latinos in the team. That Peruvian Farfan looked pretty tasty too. As the ultimate feeder club, a bit like Spurs are traditionally, although they have taken to buying more recently, I am sure they will sell Farfan for a good profit soon.

Elsewhere in the Also Ran's cup Everton lost to Fiorentina. And I know why. I have sussed Everton out. Let me explain...

Basically Everton are not, in strict terms of quality, a top four side but perversely this works in their favour. they are an organised and passionate unit with enough flair to score good goals, and well briefed by one of the nation's astutest coaches in David Moyes.

When playing top 4 teams other premiership sides see the exercise as damage limitation- with maybe a point, even three, on offer for the bravest and luckiest. Yet when playing Everton the intensity is different- every team will play them thinking 'we can get something here, we can win it, they are not that much better than us.' This plays right into Everton's hands. However, when they play teams who have an eye on damage limitation, as defensive Italian teams nearly always do, Everton struggle. This explains not only Everton's defeat last night, but also their poor cup form, especially against lower league opposition. As soon as teams across the premiership start treating them like they would Liverpool, or Arsenal, and adopt a more defensive attitude towards them- Everton will struggle. Let's hope this doesn't happen anytime soon and that Liverpool implode in the under the pressure of boardroom uncertainty.

OK. that is it. Who wants this Mars Bar?