Ok- this is mostly about the team I wish would get relegated

this season. Newcastle. If only to wipe the idiotic conceited smirk of your archetypal Geordie fan's face. But before I launch into that I just want to say one thing. God Man U look good going forward. they have, what I think, is perhaps one of the most potent attacking forces in recent times in Tevez, Ronaldo, and Rooney. It says a lot that a player with as much guile and class as Tevez should look like a goal poacher against the other two. Admittedly Newcastle made them look better than they were over the weekend which all ties in nicely to the primary theme I said I wanted to start with . In the absence of Allardyce are the Toon Army finally watching the sort of football they want? I thought not. Besides, I cannot imagine Mark Hughes, who is currently making little flirty eyes in the direction of Mike Ashley and putting on his best black and white 'you could try and fuck me' frock, making the Toon Army sweep aside the likes of Chelsea as Moses would the Red Sea either. Regardless of whether this previous sentence makes grammatical sense or scores high on the readability scale or not.

Newcastle fans however are not interested in Hughes, and his little black and white dress. They want Mourinho. As was widely reported yesterday. And I am sure they do. They want him. I expect Jimmy Fivebellies used to shut his eyes and bash one out while imagining a Pamela Anderson and Jet the gladiator threesome too. So while Mourinho is sure a dreamy accessory in the big cock contest that goes on between premierhip chairmen, Mike Ashley had more realistically set his sights lower. I mean, I hear Peter Reid is available...