I have a choice.

I either write about endless transfer sagas (lampard will he stay or will he go, ronaldo ditto)- or I diversify.

since I don't want to bore my tiny but loyal readership I am not about to start writing about contemporary poetry, marxism, or welsh history. So that leaves my other great love- cricket.

#I don't like cricket, I love it#.

I shall not wax lyrical about Kevin Pieterson here. Nor shall I quibble about Andrew Strauss' dismissal yesterday. Rather I am going to pickup on some comment made by Darren Gough concerning the illegal player saga.

I have always liked Gough. His inswinging yorkers were handy for England and Wales team at a difficult time- when the phrase middle order collapse was common (e.g "England suffered another middle order batting collapse yesterday at the hands of [insert any team name here] despite a good 70 from Graham Thorpe and a gritty 47 from Alec Stewart/Michael Atherton the team were all out for 193]. Gough also impressed in Strictly Come Dancing. His comments yesterday made me like him even more. He picked up on the inconsistency/laten racism of UK immigration.

Speaking of Azeem Rafiq he said "him and his brother have been going to school here since they were kids" I wanted him to call kids 'nippers' at this point. "they have boradoer yorkshire accents than I do." That is saying something. "you meet all these South Africans and Australians who have British passports but they've only been here about 5 mins. I don't know what the problem is."

Well said. On a day when a naturalised South African became a hero for England a kid who has lived in Yorkshire nearly all his life gets outed as being a foreigner, "who comes form Pakistan'. I hope the Home Office don't now do anything rash. If Rafiq had white skin, or came from down under, I doubt if anyone would have noticed, let alone cared.

Rodney Marsh and John Barnes

both on the sharp end of democracy's tedium, on the same night. How's about that for a coincidence?
In case you live on another planet, out of the UK, don't own a telly, or spend much time in front of the thought substitute box then a little explanation. John Barnes (a naturalised Jamaican best known for dazzling form on the wing for Liverpool, and less so for his country, a bit like most the current England squad) has been on Strictly Come Dancing. Reality show cum primetime light entertainment extravaganza where fading celebs shimmy in a grandiose dance off. And the public vote to keep their favourites in the show. Rodney Marsh (an Englishman best known for his bruising displays for club and country, and witless commentary) has been on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!. A rainforest themed medieval dungeon with celebrities and premium rate phone line voting. The public lost faith in both these ex-footballers simultaneously it seems. Maybe a subconscious backlash from England's European failure.
I imagine Rodney and John meeting in the grey hades like limbo between Telly and the Real World, and stopping for a chat.

"Rodney, you got voted out too!"
"That's right John- the public have spoken."
"You look thirsty after being in the jungle Rodney. Would you like some isotonic lucozade- it gets rid of your thirst. FAST."
"thanks John. I'd forgotten that existed. Its weird here in limbo innit?"

All a bit Beckett meets the 3am girls this.

I'm off for a coffee...