They say a week is a long time in politics.

90 mins is a long time in football. In the course of one single match england have gone from sulky underacheiving millionaire no-trys to world beaters once more. 4-1 against Croatia, heady days.

A relieved Capello has urged calm, it is after all just one result. The media exalt baby faced assasin II Theo Walcott. Still not quite ready for regular first team action at Arsenal- scoring hat-tricks for England against much fancied opposition.

Future headlines about this player could be:

Theo and Only
Simply Theo Best
We Adore Theodore
These Boots will Walcott Over You
WalcROUT
Walc This Way
Theo Walcs the Walc

In just a few more fine performances Walcott will have to become Walcs. This way the puns will become endless.

Meanwhile Wales, dear Wales, have forgotten how to take penalties. Two penalty misses in two games. Lads, lads- just smash it towards the corner, that way even if the keeper guesses right he still can't save it. Practice doing this. Despite the miss Wales were unlucky to lose in Russia.

Scotland meanwhile beat Iceland- which they should have done anyway.

In the ex Pale territory Northern Ireland got a good draw against the Czechs.

Gordon Brown wittered on about the football in his press conference today. Unable to answer a question on Angola but full of praise for 'Walcs'. Just what we need from a PM.